I’ve just found out that I would need fertility treatment (Clomid, IVF, possible egg donation). I’m 37 so time is not on my side. I have been with my boyfriend for a year and love him dearly. However, he has a son of 14 from a previous relationship who he sees occasionally and is not over keen on having more children. He wants us to take more time over our decision whether to pursue treatment but I am finding it hard to put this off any longer. I feel that I need to know sooner rather than later as I would dearly love to raise a family.
I have always wanted to raise children in a loving relationship, but I am now faced with the decision of whether to stay with him and risk his decision being no, or to leave him and go it alone as I have been advised by the docs that my chances of success will lessen over time. I am not willing to just look for a man to be a father as I am in love with my boyfriend and cannot contemplate being with anyone else at the moment.
Any thoughtful advice is greatly appreciated.
Related Info
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5 comments
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Ky says:
January 18, 2011 at 5:07 pm (UTC 0)
Im having the same probleGot with my fiance 6 years ago. Started trying for a baby after he said he wanted one and after tests turns out I have Poly, now been refered to hospital and he has changed his mind and says its moving too fast and wnt to wait. Im 30 he is 40! Wait how long? Say he never wants them??! Dont know what to do! Friend advised me to stop waisting my time and find someone else if babies is what I want. After lots of thinking time I might just do that. Otherwise Ill end up hating him.
kat says:
August 17, 2010 at 11:09 pm (UTC 0)
I am currently going through icis my partner he was not keen on the idea but i have continued anyway as my treatment has progressed he has come round to the idea and is now a great support i think its when people mention ivf its scary you think of being hormonal and having invasive things done.as long as you take it as it comes its really not that bad i discovered that my partner wasn’t keen because he was worried about the risks involved and he was worried that id turn into a mad crazy woman which surprise surprise it didn’t happen he maybe just needs some reassurance so talk to him and find out exactly whats putting him off and deal with it from there
mummy to Daisy. says:
August 17, 2010 at 11:09 pm (UTC 0)
I would say its every women’s right to have a baby. If your partner is not keen on having a baby with you then maybe its not meant to be because this sounds as though having a baby is what you want. He still has to respect your wishes just because he has a son does not mean that you should just have to make do without a child of your own.Having a baby can be tough but it is the most rewarding thing you can ever do. I had to have treatment and it was well worth it and probably the thought of the treatment that is putting your partner off having a baby. Go for it you only get one life full fill your dreams if he loves you as much as he says he does he will have to make sacrifices. Have another talk to him you dont want to let this opportunity down not many women get the offer of ivf.
Olivia J says:
August 17, 2010 at 11:09 pm (UTC 0)
That’s a tough situation. I think basically you have to decide which is more important to you – a baby (with or without a man), or your boyfriend (with or without a baby). I’m a mother of three the same age as you, and I would have to say that I would choose the baby over the boyfriend. That’s just me though. Nothing has given me greater joy in life than being a mother – and I’ve been happily married for 11 years.
Aggie says:
August 17, 2010 at 11:09 pm (UTC 0)
If he does not want more kids, you should have thought of that when you got together with him.
Plan on raising the baby alone, because If force him or push him, you will only push him away and make him resent you.
Good Luck.