My husband and I have been trying for a baby for 19 months after me coming off the Depo injection with no success (I have had my periods back for 13 months). I am looking for advice in the following areas:
- Is it too soon to go to the doctors to start having fertility tests?
- How come with my last period I threw up on the morning it arrived and had felt exhausted for about a week before?
- How can I stop myself feeling so truly devastated & broken hearted every time I get another period?
Any advice would be really appreciated as I am struggling to know what to do. Thank for your replies xxxxx
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16 comments
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Janie says:
August 24, 2010 at 9:49 pm (UTC 0)
I think if there’s one guiding principle you should adopt, it’s to keep the stress as low as possible. Everything else will follow more readily if you do. I’d also recommend checking this link out for a lot more information on how to get pregnant fast . Very informative and easy to read through. Good luck!
NENA says:
August 23, 2010 at 10:38 pm (UTC 0)
first of all relax and breath. i worked as a nurse and alot of times i would see this happen mostly because the shot is so unpredictable itself that even though you come off it you don’t know when it gets out of your system!!!! go to the doctor and get a workup of progesterone to see if you’re ovulating you might need some medicine to help you ovulate and then start counting your fertility days. usually it’s day 12,14,16,18 after you start your period, your first day of bleeding being day one . mean while take in all the sex as fun not just as a baby making motion if not it could hurt your relationship too. hope it helps.
Ashley Bass says:
August 23, 2010 at 10:38 pm (UTC 0)
Hello, once you have been having unprotected sex for 12 months without pregnancy acheivement, you are eligible for fertility testing and treatment. I would go see your OBGYN asap and then maybe go to a RE.
mother of 2 says:
August 23, 2010 at 10:38 pm (UTC 0)
Don’t try that’s what i did and i got pregnant both times
ronetta says:
August 23, 2010 at 10:38 pm (UTC 0)
Your trying to hard and your very stressed out about it I know exactly how you feel I was once their I gave up and two months later I got pregnant but I had a miscarriage Jan 07. The sad part about it I didnt know I was pregnant because all those times I thought I was the test came back negative and I got so tired of seeing a minus so I figure Im just late since my period has done it before so the day I had my miscarriage I was at home didnt even suspect I was 5 months pregnant until water came out of me then the next day the baby came out I was so devasted and upset. I have mixed feelings about the situation and some days Im upset Im not trying if it happens it happens Im just going with the flow.
sending baby dust
lovebudca_chikyjo_lushious says:
August 23, 2010 at 10:38 pm (UTC 0)
I believe after 12 months you can go to your doc.
As for throwing up….that is totally normal. I had one period at the age of 15 that i will never forget. I got my period and that same day I was walking to the movie store…I could have fainted on the way back. i had cramps soooo bad I was throwing up and had sweats and everything. I still every once in awhile feel nuasiated. I also am tired for every single period I have ever had. So, I am used to it.
Also, be healthy, active, take your its and love life.
Relax, it is upsetting. Just think you have lots of time to try and have sex.. Dont think about getting prego. That is a faux pas..the more you try, the harder it is to become preg. Remember, there are specialists out there too that can help. so dont get too depressed. If need be in the end…adopt. There are so many children out there that need some one to love and accpet them. I know its not the same, but at least you know you are saving a childs life. Good luck
Misshopeful says:
August 23, 2010 at 10:38 pm (UTC 0)
I can really empathise with you. I’ve been trying for 6 years. If you’ve been trying for longer than 12 months your doctor will refer you for fertility tests. I wish I’d gone to the doctors earlier. I just kept thinking give it time it will happen. Now we’re going through the lenghty NHS fertility process!
You can’t stop yourself feeling devastated each time your period comes. It’s perfectly natural. I would suggest taking some Kalms a few days before your period is due. They are herbal and available in Boots or other chemists. they’ll help you feel less anxious.
Once you contact your doctor for tests you’ll feel a bit better because you are actually doing something instead of waiting. Good luck
Hope says:
August 23, 2010 at 10:38 pm (UTC 0)
hi!
just a bit of background infor about my situation, we have been trying to conceive for nearly 2 years now and the past two years have been quite traumatic. I kept delaying the doctor because everyone kept saying its normal to try for atleast two years. Boy I wish I didnt listen! would ahve saved me from all those heartaches every month. I finally went to the Dr this year and I ahve been diagnosed with PCO and my husband has a problem with teh quality of his sperms. So basically had i known this before I would ahve started my treatment earlier and who knows what would have happened? So my advice is its never too early to go to teh dr.
_ I hope i dont upset you, but sometimes when you will your body to be pregnant you do actually go through some symptoms, I know I did and still do! once I was so sure I was pregnant because I kept throwing up for about three weeks, period was late but i eventually did get it, I was shattered. But that doesnt mean that you are not…apparently some people get their symptoms quite early. In any case start taking the folic acid if you already havent.
_ how can you stop yourself from being shattered? trust me I knwo exactly what you are going through, everymonth I feel the same, cant bear to see my relatives kids or even strangers for that matter. I just want to die…but honestly though after I strated my treatment, even though I get my period, yes It makes me sad but I just keep moving on because the very next day I ahve to strat my medication…what I am trying to say, knowing what the problem is and then actually doing something about it may make things abit easier… I think you should go and see the Dr. hope this helps…lots of baby dust on you
charlotte D says:
August 23, 2010 at 10:38 pm (UTC 0)
Yes go see your gynie or fertility Dr. you need hormone testing to see if your levels are normal for ovulation, the depro. needle birth control method is very strong and is not really too good for you, so i reccommend never going on that again, especially after you do deliver your baby in the future, all my friends have had problems whom have tried the birth control needle.
janine e says:
August 23, 2010 at 10:38 pm (UTC 0)
Firstly STOP worring as it wont help you or your body!! Coming off the depo injection does have long side affects and will take your body alittle bit longer to get back to normal even tho your having periods. It is too soon to go the doctors as people are told to wait least 3 years if then they cant conceived naturally. Periods can make you feel exhausted and I’m not to sure about the sickness. You must tell your self it will happen some day but not this month! I find some women who don’t get pregnant within 3 months go paranoid and that’s all there thinking off and they take the fun out of the " trying" and it gets too serious and that’s where the heart break comes into it. Must stop and make it an en-joyful and happy experience.
Dont_drink_and_drive says:
August 23, 2010 at 10:38 pm (UTC 0)
My husband and I tried for 4 years then we took on 3 wonderful girls twin 3 years old and 1 1 1/2 year old
and after 1 year and 9 months I gave birth to a beautful little girl I named her Amee she is now 16 and graduationg grade 12 never give up hope and remember maybe your body may not be ready
How can I stop myself feeling so truly devastated & broken hearted every time I get another period?
you can’t I used to cry if I went in to a store and seen a new baby
Is it too soon to go to the doctors to start having fertility tests?
it is never to soon
After I found out I was 6 months for I had no symptoms I was still getting my periods and was tired but talk to your doc about fertility and go from there every one is different see your doc
And remember even if you can’t have a biological child there are lots out there that need love and to belong
mojo says:
August 23, 2010 at 10:38 pm (UTC 0)
I know exactly how you feel and will be watching intently for your answers. I understand how upsetting it can be but i also know that the stress will not be helping you. It may of been stress that made you ill but get checked out at the docs anyway just to be sure. Wishing you both all the luck in the world xxx
JEANIE says:
August 23, 2010 at 10:38 pm (UTC 0)
I tried for a while also, the trick to it was to stop trying!
A nice weekend down to the coast did it for us.
I don’t think it’s too soon to have tests done, but it sure as hell takes the fun out of it.
Have you thought about what if 1 of you is incapable of baby-making?
Are you also sure that your relationship is not going to revolve around this issue?
tucksie says:
August 23, 2010 at 10:38 pm (UTC 0)
My ex and I struggled for the second child so we decided we wouldn’t make love, we’d simply have sex without any emotion. She was pregnant 9 days later. Give it a try.
Tell me if it works.
joeloveslego says:
August 23, 2010 at 10:38 pm (UTC 0)
get it workin’
British*Bird says:
August 23, 2010 at 10:38 pm (UTC 0)
Hiya, i know how hard it is as i am struggling to fall pregnant too. You are eligible for fertility tests after a year of trying so go along to your G.P and get the ball rolling there. You maybe have a bit of a hormonal problem which makes you tired before and nauseous when your period arrives. This could also be caused by stress. I feel rotten the week before my period, i feel sick, tired and have a foul taste in my mouth but all my tests have come back ok so its maybe just one of those things for me. I found it helpful to take some herbal remedies, i take kalms to help me calm down and cope better, these have really helped me. I also was told to take omega 3 fish oils as these have a calming effect on the brain. I think you need to stop being so hard on yourself, after 3 years of trying i still get upset when my period arrives but i have accepted that thats ok, im human and i would rather be emotional about it than bottle it all up. I went to see a counsellor because i was depressed last year and she explained to me that cortisole which you produce when you stress has a really negative effect on your body and makes conception difficult. I started a daily diary and wrote down all my feelings and thoughts, this was therapeutic. I started the gym again because excercise releases endorphins which lifts your mood, you could try this or walking etc. Do you have someone you can talk to? I talk more now as before i would ‘put on a brave face’ but this doesnt get you anywhere, i lean heavily on my friends for support and if i feel down we go and have a big girls night out or something. You have to be good to yourself, try and get out and keep busy, have fun and laugh as much as possible. Give yourself permission to be sad and have a good cry sometimes but make sure you try to pull yourself round and find something to do that will cheer you up. E Mail me if you like, it helps to talk to people going through the same thing as you dont feel so alone. I wish you the best of luck x